Why Do Men Lie to Women?

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This is well known among women, who, often, as a strategy, do not believe other women. But while women's lives and sexual behaviour might have changed, their willingness to be honest about it hasn't. More so, he probably didn't want to hurt your feelings or seem rude. So, if she's trying to change the subject by being , don't let your brain forget the check her booty can't cash.

I never tell him about my girlfriends' secrets, because he'd be judgmental and disapproving. They will often want to brag about it, or be so taken up by the sexual thrill of the affair that their behaviour is a giveaway. You know how you can burst into tears one moment only to be totally fine a few minutes later admit it? Chill, Baby: Does she respond casually?

Why Do Women Lie About Their Age? There are Reasonable Motives!

While men have always had a worse reputation for being unfaithful, recent studies show that women are catching up fast - but we are a lot more likely to lie about it, and a lot less likely to get caught. Simply put, it seems that women are better why do women lie having affairs than men. The news that Farrah Fawcett had a secret affair for 11 years without telling a soul is a classic example of the way a woman cheats: discreetly, in secret, and while carrying on with the rest of her life as normal. Cheating housewife: Eva Longoria played a woman who had an affair with her gardener, played by Jesse Metcalfe, in Desperate Housewives It has been met with hot denials by Ryan O'Neal, but - and I'm sorry to break it to you this way, Ryan - you'd be the last to know. According to Dr David Holmes, a psychologist at Manchester Metropolitan University, women are having more affairs than ever - recent studies say the figure is around 20 per cent for men and a bit over 15 per cent for women - but they behave very differently from men when they cheat. One woman I know - let's call her Juliet - has been married to Adrian for ten years, and having an affair with Mark for the past two. She has told me and her sister - otherwise, she says, she's '100 per cent certain' that nobody else knows. Mobiles and email leave a trail. I insist we talk on our office landlines, and when we meet for drinks or dinner, we pay with cash. If we meet in the evening, I tell Adrian I'm with my sister, and meet Mark a few miles away, where we won't bump into anyone. Secret affair: Ryan O'Neal knew nothing of partner Farrah Fawcett's alleged infidelity Does she feel guilty about the affair. You know the 11th commandment: don't get caught. Jobs outside the home - with the ready-made excuse of working late or business travel - financial independence and changing social attitudes mean that modern women simply have more opportunity to meet other men and start affairs. Mobile phones, internet chat rooms and email also make it easier to fuel intimate encounters. But while women's lives and sexual behaviour might have changed, their willingness to be honest about it hasn't. We lie so much that often we don't even think of it as lying at all, but as 'relationship management' The truth is that we have always lied about our sex lives. British men consistently claim to have had more partners than women - the current average is 13, while women claim to have had only nine. Plainly, someone is lying here. While men might exaggerate their sexual conquests, the bigger liars are women. When studies about sexual partners or fidelity use a mixture of face-to-face interviews and anonymous computer questionnaires, men will give the same answers to both, but women will report much higher numbers when the answers are anonymous. Because we must, and because we can. In spite of apparent equality and a more sexually open society, we are still more harshly judged for our sex lives than men. Can you imagine a leading female politician having an affair and her husband standing loyally by her. There is something particularly humiliating for a man about being made a cuckold. So we lie to protect ourselves from the judgments of others, and because sexual 'reputation' still matters more to women, whether we like it or not. But we also lie naturally and instinctively, as a way to manage and control our relationships, to protect our partners and our families, and to keep our options why do women lie. In fact, we lie so much and for so many reasons that often we don't even think of it as lying at all, but as 'relationship management'. Women are taught to lie from childhood. Those simple, altruistic lies such as saying we've had a lovely time when we haven't, that someone looks nice when she doesn't, or that we're delighted with a gift we don't really like, are just why do women lie of the small ways that lying oils the wheels of our social lives, keeps the peace, and makes other people happy. Girls will lie to protect someone's feelings or to build a relationship. Honesty, in these circumstances, looks highly overrated, and we quickly learn the value and power of being economical with the truth in relationships. Many women also develop a habit of secrecy about smaller issues in their relationship as a way of maintaining some kind of control. It's common, for example, for why do women lie to lie to their partners about how much money they have spent - even when they don't need to. Share It's not just a question of avoiding the inevitable row over the 'worth it' factor of a pair of killer heels, but of holding something back in order to maintain a sense of emotional independence, and to balance out the power we might feel our partner has in other aspects of the relationship. A recent survey by a leading building society also found that women are much more likely than men to have a 'secret' account with money their partner knows nothing about. Why explain yourself over every little thing. Why have a huge row over something he needn't even know about. I never tell him about my girlfriends' secrets, because he'd be judgmental and disapproving. Women are better liars because they're more psychologically sophisticated 'I don't have a secret account, but I'm not completely honest about how much money I spend. If he doesn't know, he doesn't miss it. But it's easy to see how a climate of withholding and keeping smaller secrets can easily lead to bigger ones. They live, psychologically, in the moment, while women think around corners and two steps ahead. Hillary stood by Bill Clinton when he had an affair, if it had been the other way around, would he have done the same. We're also better at mental multi-tasking. When men have affairs, he says, they tend to be bigger risk-takers and naïve about how obvious their cheating is to an emotionally astute partner. They will also be bursting to tell someone about it. They will often want to brag about it, or be so taken up by the sexual thrill of the affair that their behaviour is a giveaway. They may confide in one or two very close women friends, but they compartmentalise their emotional lives and don't let the affair bleed into the rest of their lives. Brian kept me sane during some of the tougher years of my marriage, but he was strictly for snatched afternoons off and the odd working weekend away,' she says. Susan adds: 'We made each other laugh and our sex life was wonderful. But Brian was a permanent man-child - a great lover, but not the kind of man you'd marry. I never wanted to live with him. Cheating is never pretty, but why do women lie about it doesn't necessarily make it worse. Often, our lies are meant to shield our partners and families from pain. We tell ourselves that if nobody knows, nobody gets hurt. Dr Holmes says: 'Often, why do women lie keep the secret because they're much more conscious of how much there is to lose, and to protect the other people involved. If she has children, she'll be especially careful that they aren't hurt in any way by the knowledge of what she's doing. If you asked unfaithful men if they think their wives or girlfriends have had affairs, too, they will be shocked at the very thought Like my friend Juliet, who has become so good at lying to her husband that she surprises even herself. He doesn't deserve to be hurt, and I have no intention of letting my son grow up without his father. In purely evolutionary terms, men are programmed to sleep with lots of women, and women are programmed to attract and retain a quality mate. Dr Holmes adds: 'She will be very canny and keep her options open until she decides which of the men she is going to choose. Historically, a man has put a higher value on the fidelity of his woman because he needs to be sure that any children she has are really his. This seems to produce a strange kind of emotional blindness in many men, once they've selected a partner to settle down with. No wonder we're better at secret affairs.

As it happens, though, dishonesty is simply part of human nature. If she cares about you, she'll want to put your mind at ease. Now, this one is not always a lie. I insist we talk on our office landlines, and when we meet for drinks or dinner, we pay with cash. Maybe throughout her life she has observed that guys have acted in the same way with her. If he is interested in you, he is going to have to deal with you directly. This is well known among women, who, often, as a strategy, do not believe other women. This isn't to say only buy her flowers for no reason other than to see if she squirms, but it's a good barometer. Unless hundreds of thousands of men are having sex with foreign women - which is unlikely given similar findings elsewhere - the average for both genders should be about the same. Really sometimes things aren't in the control of a human being. This is obviously a no-brainer. Just like our health, a commitment to being truthful and genuine needs to be cultivated, maintained, and built everyday.